(The forthcoming book: From the Principal’s Desk – A Journey of Lessons)
Dr Arun Prakash
When we think about success—whether in school, at work, or in life—we often picture someone smart, maybe the class topper or the genius who solves problems in seconds. But there’s another, quieter skill that plays an equally important role in success: emotional intelligence. It’s not about being book-smart but about understanding emotions—your own and others’—and using that understanding to navigate life.
Let me share Aarav’s story. Aarav, a 10th grader, wasn’t the best in academics. His report card was always average, and he was never in the spotlight. But Aarav had a remarkable gift—he was deeply empathetic. When his friend Meena struggled with family issues, Aarav lent her a listening ear. When his group faced challenges in a science project, Aarav motivated everyone to contribute and made the task enjoyable. His teachers often said, “Aarav might not have the highest grades, but he has something even more valuable—emotional intelligence.” Aarav’s ability to connect with people made him a leader among his peers, proving that success isn’t just about IQ.
Simply put, emotional intelligence, or EI, is the ability to understand and manage emotions. It’s the difference between a child who throws a tantrum after losing a game and one who takes a deep breath and says, “I’ll try again next time.” EI has four main components: understanding emotions, managing them, empathising with others, and using emotions positively.
Think of Priya, a 9th grader who used to get anxious before every exam. Her teacher asked her to journal her feelings, and Priya realised that her anxiety came from feeling unprepared. This small awareness helped her plan better, and she eventually overcame her fear of exams. Then there’s Soham, a cricket player, who once dropped an important catch. Instead of sulking, he calmed himself, encouraged his teammates, and helped his team bounce back. His ability to manage emotions turned a failure into a win. Similarly, Anaya, a little girl, carried an extra sandwich every day. When asked why, she said, “Some of my friends don’t bring lunch. I want to share mine.” This simple act of kindness made her loved by everyone and taught her peers the value of empathy.
Finally, EI involves using emotions in a way that helps rather than hinders. A child nervous about a speech can use that energy to rehearse and perform confidently. Emotional intelligence is what helps children handle life’s ups and downs. It’s what makes them bounce back after failing a test, make friends easily, or resolve a fight with a sibling. The best part is that EI is not something fixed—it’s a skill that can be developed with practice.
This is where schools play an important role. While career counselling helps students choose their paths, it is equally essential for schools to focus on emotional intelligence. Schools are not just places to impart knowledge; they shape the emotional and social skills of students, equipping them for life. School counsellors and educators can integrate EI into their guidance programmes, ensuring students not only have the tools for academic success but also the resilience and empathy to navigate relationships and challenges.
Studies have shown that emotional intelligence can significantly impact academic outcomes. For example, emotional intelligence accounts for approximately 20% of a student’s academic performance, independent of their IQ. Furthermore, students participating in social-emotional learning (SEL) programmes have shown an 11% improvement in standardised test scores compared to those who do not. These programmes not only enhance performance but also foster a healthier school environment, with reports of a 23% reduction in negative behaviours like bullying. Research also highlights that individuals with strong EI skills report 10-15% higher levels of life satisfaction, which directly correlates with their ability to handle stress during exams and other academic pressures.
For instance, counsellors can conduct workshops to teach children how to handle stress, empathise with peers, and manage emotions. Real-life role-playing activities—like resolving conflicts or dealing with failure—can provide practical skills they’ll carry for life. Teachers, too, can make EI part of their lessons. Simple activities like group discussions encourage students to listen to different viewpoints and express themselves respectfully. Schools can also collaborate with parents to extend these lessons at home, creating a consistent environment for children to develop emotional intelligence.
Testing emotional intelligence can provide valuable insights into a child’s strengths and areas of improvement. Online tools like the Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment or the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal are practical, user-friendly options that can help parents and educators identify how best to support children in their EI journey. Importantly, these tests aren’t about labelling but understanding—using the results to guide children towards growth.
The impact of emotional intelligence goes far beyond academics. Imagine a workplace where a manager understands the struggles of their team and motivates them with compassion. Or think of a family where siblings resolve conflicts with mutual respect. Emotional intelligence is the foundation of these harmonious relationships.
Think of Mahatma Gandhi, whose empathy united millions, or your local teacher who inspires students through kindness. EI shapes leaders, strengthens families, and builds communities. When we nurture emotional intelligence, we’re not just giving children tools for school—we’re preparing them for life. With sustained efforts from parents, teachers, and schools, every child can grow into a confident, compassionate, and resilient individual. This is the true essence of education—helping children not just succeed but thrive.
References and Citations:
- CASEL: Social-Emotional Learning Research
- Psychological Bulletin Meta-Analysis: Role of Emotional Intelligence in Academic Performance
- American Psychological Association: Students Managing Emotions and Performance
